The Chameleon Effect: Turning Difference into a Superpower
By Chris Jarvis, Host of Be the Giraffe
“Change is hard. Change or die.”
Those were the words I opened with on this episode of Be the Giraffe. They’re words I know deeply. Many of us feel stuck, or like prisoners of our own success, unsure how to change or stand out without losing ourselves in the process.
Today’s guest, Stephen Oommen, knows that struggle better than most. His story is a vivid example of how the things we once believed were our greatest disadvantages can become our most powerful assets.
The Making of a Chameleon
Stephen started his journey as the child of Indian immigrants in Oklahoma City—a place where, as he tells it, he was often the only minority in the room. He remembers his mother proudly dressing him in traditional Indian garb for kindergarten. The result? Cruel laughter, kids pointing and calling his clothing a “woman’s dress.”
“I still remember walking home afterwards in tears, praying to God, ‘Why couldn’t you make me white?’” Stephen shared.
That moment—and countless others like it—sparked a deep desire in him to blend in. “If you belong nowhere,” he said, “you try to belong everywhere.”
The Superpower Hidden in Survival
Over time, Stephen’s survival instinct of adapting to fit in evolved into what he calls his “chameleon effect.” He learned to observe, mirror, and connect with people from all walks of life. At first, it was defense. Later, it became his superpower.
A pivotal moment came during a job interview at ADP, as Stephen transitioned from finance into software sales. In a panel interview with four VPs, he was asked: “What makes you different?”
It was a question he’d rehearsed—but his answer could have gone either way. He took a risk:
“Before I walked in this room, either subtly or subconsciously, you envisioned a white male. By my voice, I sound like one. But by the color of my skin, you might assume I’m African American. Yet, my actual heritage is Indian. And because no one knew what I was, I learned to become the world’s best chameleon. There’s not a room I can’t step into and connect with people.”
It stunned the room into silence—but ultimately won him the job. And it launched his career in technology sales.
From Fitting In to Standing Out
Stephen’s early years were about fitting in. But as he matured, he realized there’s a ceiling to surface-level connections.
He shared that for years, he maintained relationships that were “surface level” but lacked depth. He was accepted, but not known. Trusted, but only to a point.
Everything changed when he discovered two truths:
Help Enough People Get What They Want.
The classic Zig Ziglar quote became Stephen’s compass. His success accelerated when he stopped focusing on himself and shifted entirely to understanding and serving others.
Vulnerability Builds Trust.
Stephen learned that true influence doesn’t come from blending in—it comes from showing up authentically. Vulnerability, once a terrifying risk, became the bridge to meaningful connections.
As he put it:
“There’s a time you want to be accepted. Then there’s a time you want to impact. To do that, you have to let people into your world, too.”
Helping Others Find Their Superpower
One of Stephen’s most significant breakthroughs was mentoring younger professionals. Sharing his struggles and insights openly became transformative not just for them—but for himself.
“Every person on this planet is ahead of someone and behind someone else. Find someone you can mentor and someone who can mentor you.”
Through mentorship, he realized the immense value of his experiences and began to teach others how to turn their differences into advantages.
The Business Application: Empathy Wins
Stephen’s career is impressive—working with giants like Microsoft, ESPN, ADT, Citibank, and Fidelity. Yet he’s the first to say that his success isn’t just about knowledge or skills—it’s about empathy.
He explained that in any business—especially in sales—it’s not enough to know your product or deliver the numbers. You have to deeply understand what drives people.
“People buy on emotion and justify with logic. Help people past the close.”
His chameleon ability to connect and empathize with people across cultures and contexts made him not only a top salesperson but a trusted partner. Referrals, relationships, and authentic conversations built his career far more than any single deal.
Practical Advice for Corporate Professionals
Not everyone wants—or can afford—to become an entrepreneur. Stephen offered practical advice for professionals working inside large organizations:
Network Relentlessly.
“The wealth of this world is not in currency. It’s in people,” Stephen said. Find centers of influence. Ask the question he uses in every meeting:
“Who’s the most interesting person you’ve met in the last 90 days that I should meet?”
Understand Your Own Story.
Curiosity about others starts with curiosity about yourself. Reflect on your life story—the good and the bad. Those experiences are the roots of your unique value.
Lead with Vulnerability.
Stephen advises opening up—even in corporate environments. Vulnerability removes others’ armor and builds trust.
“If you’re feeling anxious, the person next to you probably is too. Be the first to open up.”
Be Curious About Emotions, Not Just Facts.
Instead of asking, “What did you think about that?” try, “How did that make you feel?” It shifts conversations from transactional to human.
From Misfortune to Mission
Ultimately, Stephen’s story is a powerful example of how misfortune can become mission. The painful moments of his childhood—once the source of shame—are now the bedrock of his success and his message.
“Memories don’t live on through money. Memories live on through relationships and people.”
That’s why Be the Giraffe exists. To remind us that standing out isn’t just about being different—it’s about daring to see above the herd, embrace who we are, and use our uniqueness to connect and help others.
Be bold. Be curious. But most importantly, be patient.
Because the thing you think makes you an outsider today… might be your greatest superpower tomorrow.
P.S. If this episode resonated with you, you’ll love my Be the Giraffe book.
